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I know not many of you know a lot about me, that or.. really don't care. But for those who would like to know a little of what made me who I am and who you know today here's a little about my past and all that.
I was born in New Hampshire USA on May 27th 1993. I was a twin, but mom had a miscarriage with her. I'm Mom and Dad's Miracle baby, and Dads only child (I have 2 half siblings, kind of sucks to be Dad's little girl, the youngest and the only) Dad was horrified when I itched my face and caused a scar on my cheek. I don't think he ever forgave the doctor for not putting mittens on me.
I was born with a paralyzed neck, I had to be held a certain way or my neck would become limp. It is no longer the case because of therapy however, I've got a very bad immune system and even the common cold can land me in the hospital. I was diagnosed with pre-scoliosis (curvature of the spine) and carpal tunnel. Later I would also be told I am severely allergic to smoke and have asthma.
I spent most of my child hood while living in New Hampshire, camping with my parents in Maine or.. spending days alone at home since my parents worked day and night. My sister never had time for me being 12 years older, and my brother the same considering he's 6 years older. I would say my creativity came from my imagination, when you have to play with yourself for hours on end.. your imagination is your best friend. We moved around a lot, but finally settled in Tennessee.. Now, I know most people think there is such a thing called "Southern Hospitality" But, if there is I or my family never got any.. From the moment I started school I was ridiculed for my disease. (Was diagnosed with a disease that caused my body to start setting into puberty at 4 years of age, the pills I was given stunted my growth but at least put off the process until it could happen naturally unfortunately.. it caused the hair on my body to grow heavier and darker) I was called shorty, and monkey.. ape. People hated my accent called me a Yankee and told me to go back up north. Around 6 years old I told mom I had voices in my head, she sent me to psych's which would come to be a regular thing for the next 9 years. I was diagnosed with ADD,ADHD, And Sever Bipolar. In the next few years I would occasionally become suicidal, at one point I decided to kill myself(over an issue I will explain below). I didn't think it, judge me if you must.. I was in all intention going to do it to actually kill myself. And I would have, if mom didn't find me and send me to a therapist.. I was evaluated and met people whom would change my life. I know what its like to want to die, and I'm going to be honest.. it was agonizing. There is no good way to commit suicide I chose to slit my wrists.. I felt every little drop of blood slip through the cut and with it extreme waves of pain that made me cringe. The people I knew had tried to do it with a overdose, it only knocked them out and caused them to mess up their organs.. the girl I was close to shot herself in the head and only caused minor brain damage. Seriously people don't do it.. its not worth it. I had to rub oil and shit on my arms for 3 years to partially get rid of the scar. Anyway, I found a group of friends whom I'd be in a "group" with from Kindergarten through middle school. In Middle school a new girl joined our group and didn't like me at all, she ended up tearing my best friends away from me with black mail. By the last 3 months of my 8th grade year I was sitting alone at lunch and in the mornings. I got gum stuck in my hair and food thrown at my back.. My best friend was talked into breaking up my boyfriend and I by saying I've been "sleeping" around and thats why he hasn't heard from me. (I was grounded for a month, no phone no internet.. Mom was in the hospital for a tumor; so its not like I had time to talk anyway) He believed them, went off on me.. I went into deep depression and went to school with no emotion on my face. Went home and screamed and cried until my face was blood red from broken blood vessels and my throat sore.. I eventually moved back in with my Grandparents and started over in a new school. For the next 4 years I would make 3 new bests friends and lose them all from either graduating or.. in one case my very best one ran away with some guy she met on FB. I would be thought of as stupid, opinionated and a Nazi. Weird, social outcast, or just a new girl. By the time I graduated people still asked me who I was.. and still thought I was a freshman. I was close with my Art teacher whom started teaching my freshman year, we never got close until junior year but became inseparable by senior year. It was actually her who told me I didn't need to be on pills to control my mood swings, if I had a strong will I could control myself. Which, I ended up doing and still am off pills for mood swings. She became the person I could confide my troubles in, with her help I started a Art club sophomore year. Now, I didn't become top dog until senior year. Even then people hated me for it, said I was useless and didn't deserve it. Even if I stayed after school and my mom wrote check after check to support it. The people who looked up to me were the underclassmen. Most are Seniors this year, I miss them all dearly. Anyway off topic, all the people from my past told me I was stupid and would never make it in high school. The people from my old school told me I was handicapped in math and couldn't function on more than a 3rd grade level. When I graduated I had never made below an A in all my math classes. In fact, I graduated with a 3.9 GPA with honors (Beta) and countless awards ranging from graphic design and Art to Math and History. I was ranked 13 out of 278 kids. I still wonder why people thought I was so stupid, maybe it was because I never had support or felt appreciated. Doesn't matter now =)
Being out of high school I got into my favorite band, Rise Against.
Rise Against taught me its okay to be original and speak my mind. Thus, since I could care less what people say or think I came out of my shell and got into what I enjoyed most. Debating and using logic to settle arguments. Unfortunately, I recently was diagnosed with Border Line personality disorder.
If you don't know what it is, you can always look it up. But to summarize its a disorder that people acquire or develop usually from bad pasts or traumatizing childhoods. It causes a person to feel like the people around them hate them, makes them feel worthless and un-needed. Most even push their loved ones away in fear of being hurt.
Uhhh thats about it =)
I was born in New Hampshire USA on May 27th 1993. I was a twin, but mom had a miscarriage with her. I'm Mom and Dad's Miracle baby, and Dads only child (I have 2 half siblings, kind of sucks to be Dad's little girl, the youngest and the only) Dad was horrified when I itched my face and caused a scar on my cheek. I don't think he ever forgave the doctor for not putting mittens on me.
I was born with a paralyzed neck, I had to be held a certain way or my neck would become limp. It is no longer the case because of therapy however, I've got a very bad immune system and even the common cold can land me in the hospital. I was diagnosed with pre-scoliosis (curvature of the spine) and carpal tunnel. Later I would also be told I am severely allergic to smoke and have asthma.
I spent most of my child hood while living in New Hampshire, camping with my parents in Maine or.. spending days alone at home since my parents worked day and night. My sister never had time for me being 12 years older, and my brother the same considering he's 6 years older. I would say my creativity came from my imagination, when you have to play with yourself for hours on end.. your imagination is your best friend. We moved around a lot, but finally settled in Tennessee.. Now, I know most people think there is such a thing called "Southern Hospitality" But, if there is I or my family never got any.. From the moment I started school I was ridiculed for my disease. (Was diagnosed with a disease that caused my body to start setting into puberty at 4 years of age, the pills I was given stunted my growth but at least put off the process until it could happen naturally unfortunately.. it caused the hair on my body to grow heavier and darker) I was called shorty, and monkey.. ape. People hated my accent called me a Yankee and told me to go back up north. Around 6 years old I told mom I had voices in my head, she sent me to psych's which would come to be a regular thing for the next 9 years. I was diagnosed with ADD,ADHD, And Sever Bipolar. In the next few years I would occasionally become suicidal, at one point I decided to kill myself(over an issue I will explain below). I didn't think it, judge me if you must.. I was in all intention going to do it to actually kill myself. And I would have, if mom didn't find me and send me to a therapist.. I was evaluated and met people whom would change my life. I know what its like to want to die, and I'm going to be honest.. it was agonizing. There is no good way to commit suicide I chose to slit my wrists.. I felt every little drop of blood slip through the cut and with it extreme waves of pain that made me cringe. The people I knew had tried to do it with a overdose, it only knocked them out and caused them to mess up their organs.. the girl I was close to shot herself in the head and only caused minor brain damage. Seriously people don't do it.. its not worth it. I had to rub oil and shit on my arms for 3 years to partially get rid of the scar. Anyway, I found a group of friends whom I'd be in a "group" with from Kindergarten through middle school. In Middle school a new girl joined our group and didn't like me at all, she ended up tearing my best friends away from me with black mail. By the last 3 months of my 8th grade year I was sitting alone at lunch and in the mornings. I got gum stuck in my hair and food thrown at my back.. My best friend was talked into breaking up my boyfriend and I by saying I've been "sleeping" around and thats why he hasn't heard from me. (I was grounded for a month, no phone no internet.. Mom was in the hospital for a tumor; so its not like I had time to talk anyway) He believed them, went off on me.. I went into deep depression and went to school with no emotion on my face. Went home and screamed and cried until my face was blood red from broken blood vessels and my throat sore.. I eventually moved back in with my Grandparents and started over in a new school. For the next 4 years I would make 3 new bests friends and lose them all from either graduating or.. in one case my very best one ran away with some guy she met on FB. I would be thought of as stupid, opinionated and a Nazi. Weird, social outcast, or just a new girl. By the time I graduated people still asked me who I was.. and still thought I was a freshman. I was close with my Art teacher whom started teaching my freshman year, we never got close until junior year but became inseparable by senior year. It was actually her who told me I didn't need to be on pills to control my mood swings, if I had a strong will I could control myself. Which, I ended up doing and still am off pills for mood swings. She became the person I could confide my troubles in, with her help I started a Art club sophomore year. Now, I didn't become top dog until senior year. Even then people hated me for it, said I was useless and didn't deserve it. Even if I stayed after school and my mom wrote check after check to support it. The people who looked up to me were the underclassmen. Most are Seniors this year, I miss them all dearly. Anyway off topic, all the people from my past told me I was stupid and would never make it in high school. The people from my old school told me I was handicapped in math and couldn't function on more than a 3rd grade level. When I graduated I had never made below an A in all my math classes. In fact, I graduated with a 3.9 GPA with honors (Beta) and countless awards ranging from graphic design and Art to Math and History. I was ranked 13 out of 278 kids. I still wonder why people thought I was so stupid, maybe it was because I never had support or felt appreciated. Doesn't matter now =)
Being out of high school I got into my favorite band, Rise Against.
Rise Against taught me its okay to be original and speak my mind. Thus, since I could care less what people say or think I came out of my shell and got into what I enjoyed most. Debating and using logic to settle arguments. Unfortunately, I recently was diagnosed with Border Line personality disorder.
If you don't know what it is, you can always look it up. But to summarize its a disorder that people acquire or develop usually from bad pasts or traumatizing childhoods. It causes a person to feel like the people around them hate them, makes them feel worthless and un-needed. Most even push their loved ones away in fear of being hurt.
Uhhh thats about it =)
Last edited by Mew♥ on Sun Jan 29, 2012 6:35 pm; edited 1 time in total
